Bonnie Tinker Accident Victim
7.03.2009

I'm sorry, but I'm not a fan of Ms. Tinker's politics. I do know of this woman though, and I'm so very sad to learn of her death in Virginia. She is, and will remain, an incredibly important member of the Portland community. I can't imagine a Portland without her. My best wishes to family and friends she leaves behind.

Early reports seem to indicate she was involved in a, "right-hook", incident between herself and a tractor-trailer working a nearby construction project. Ms. Tinker was riding her bicycle near the Virginia Tech campus.

at 1:49 AM 0 comments Links to this post

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Portland Webtrends and their need for attention
7.02.2009


Riding a bike in Portland just got a little bit worse, thanks to some thoughtful, ambitious, Portlanders at webtrends™. These jackholes have apparently plastered several Tri-Met MAX vehicles here in town with the question, "Should cyclists pay a road tax?".

Thanks guys. It's not bad enough to have the Church of Green busily stripping Portland vehicular-cyclists of their privilege to access the public-right-of-way, now we've got Portlanders, working for a Portland company, stirring up trouble for no other reason than, get this, to stir up trouble.

Observe the implications. If you are like me, and would run, not walk, as fast and as far away from this as possible, that is not going to be tolerated. Right. Should you choose to ignore this stupid shit, then webtrends™ is going to report to it's sponsoring advertisers that Oregonians want a road tax for cyclists. If you weigh in, and oppose a tax, then webtrends™ succeeds in their experiments, and proves that they can get your topic of choice talked about.

This is insidious. This spurious, fallacious, attack on Portland cycling, for no other reason than personal gain, is intolerable. I will personally boycott webtrends™, and any business that does business with them. More on this as I haven't had much time to investigate. For now, the Oregonlive website blog-post by Joseph Rose delves a little deeper than mine.

webtrends™ is located at 851 SW 6th Ave #600, Porland OR 97204-1343

at 9:30 AM 6 comments Links to this post

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Out of the frying pan, and into the fire
6.29.2009

Man, I went to look. That's all I was going to do. So I get to this page, just in time to get very, very upset about what I read.

My problem with this Bill 2186 is that this is the beginning of these Church of Green religious fanatics writing their freedom stealing, personal liberty robbing, religious dogma into law. As if we, as a nation, haven't had enough of this from the Christian Cultists.

Notice the comments===>

"Ron Swaren Says:

I just read that 90 per cent of the world's ice is in-----Antarctica! Some renowned scientists claim that the Antarctic ice cap has been getting thicker.

"The doomsday portraits of Antarctica’s glaciers reacting to a global climate change should be blurry at best. Consensus on changes in ice sheet thickness and their causes is difficult, and therefore of limited use on either side of the global warming debate. As Monaghan et al. (2006) state, “Vigorous efforts are needed to better understand this remote but important part of the planet and its role in global climate and sea level rise.”"

Ahh....so now we know where it has been disappearing to. Those b-----d Antarcticans! stealing our ice!

But any way, I think this country needs to go ahead with the all-electric bus, as developed by Oakridge Nat'l Laboratories, et al. And make 'em double decker's too. Like the Midwest's MEGABUS."

A rebuttal comment===>
"Bob R. Says:

Folks, a friendly reminder that this blog is not an existence-of-global-warming debate site. Try to keep the conversation about the specific local policy proposals. Thanks."


Right. Censorship of this sort is draconian, and has no place in a free society. I'll fucking bet the Church of Green fanatics would like to close down the debate. Especially since they stand to make billions.

Argh. There are so much in the way of Greenhouse Gas Emissions coming from these cultist fanatics we oughta start a committee with their tax contribution, and address the amount of warm CO2 pouring out of their swiveling, talking, mouth-breathing, heads.

Great. We are just now beginning to escape the choke-hold these filthy Christian maniacs have had on this country for 400 years, only to end up under the thumb of their blind, entitled, elitist, kids.

at 12:34 PM 0 comments Links to this post

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Bicycles and Knee Pain
6.27.2009


I've been so lucky regarding comfort over the years on my bike. Really lucky. Comes with having had excellent tutelage as a novice, in my opinion. I worked for Bob"The cocksucker"White when I first started out.

That jackass had a top-notch crew working for him when I was there. Some of you may remember Bob's Bicycle Center when they were down a ways on SE Division where the Bike Gallery is now. Most of you won't remember that Bob's moved into that location from a little space adjacent to a Taco-Bell a little further up SE Division at 126th. I worked with John Pooley, and Ken Lidster, and Gary-something. I always remember Gary because he was a certified Hawn mechanic. No seriously. Pooley was a decent wrench too, and Lidster was a former CAT 1/2 that has forgotten more about ergonomics on a bicycle than most men will ever know. He was a stickler for fitting way before it became kitschy.

The amount of time I've spent in hospitals from bike accidents surpasses anyone I've ever met. I broke my neck, all 24 ribs, sternum, left clavicle, tore off every finger-nail and toe-nail, and removed so much skin from my back I had to have transplant grafts, all in one fairly mundane spill on a training ride outside of Chico, CA. I was down there for the Pioneer century.

Another time I was so beer-drunk leaving the Horse Brass one night that I literally could not walk. Once my bro, and buds, got me on my bike I was fine. Should say something about my bike skills when I can do it better than I can walk. Anyway, I was crossing SE Division at 45th about 3:00 a.m. that morning and blew the stop-sign there. I was northbound on 45th and was subsequently struck by a car that just flat didn't see me. Not so much as a skid-mark. Running stop-signs = bad.

Turns out the driver and occupants of the car were all off-duty EMTs, or I wouldn't be writing this right now. Best part was the driver blew a .38. He might have been drunker than I was. I had no heart-rate for 92 minutes that time. That car hit me so hard that when my unhelmeted-head struck the the roof-line, right where it met the windshield, air compression inside the car from the resultant dent my head was making, actually blew all of the windows out of the car.

The police report said that they knocked my floppy, drunk body 400 feet up SE Division. Which is how I actually sustained most of my injuries. Had I been sober, or wearing a helmet either one, I'd have died that morning. Can you say, "Counter-intuitive"?

So, when I fell from what, 30ft, in the air, I landed all cock-eyed on one butt cheek. Broke my pelvis clear in half vertically, broke all 24 ribs, broke my sternum, broke both femurs, broken neck, broke all the fingers on my right hand, and was in intensive care for 9 days. That's not even the worst crash I've had.

I didn't start writing this post to reminisce about the glory days. I found I've been having a hell of a time getting the saddle-height adjusted properly on the bike I'm riding now. Furthermore, I've been noticing some knee pain develop and I'm real leery of knee pain. The type I'm experiencing is that which feels sort of like it's up under the knee-cap a bit, and feels like my knee wants to pop, but won't.

Now, I'll dick around enough in the saddle on a ride to cause occasional soreness. My worst habits come form 12 years as a bicycle messenger. I always wanna be pushing back off the end of the saddle and mash. Which isn't even my style either, when I raced I was a spin god. I came to cycling as an accomplished distance competitor, so aerobically I was in top shape, and high-cadence was fine with me. Alas, all the years of messengering ingrains those lazy habits of just always mashing 'em.

So, when my knee pain started this time around, I wasn't too concerned. However, I am quickly learning that my pronated instep can cause problems on a bike. I had no idea. Wouldn't you know, it can cause the exact kind of knee pain, and subsequent injury, that I'm going through. I ride with plastic MTB toe clips, so my street shoes fit. Turns out, I might want to rethink the kind of mileage I put in like this, because it is almost surely that supinated, pro-nated instep I mastered as a distance runner causing this. I had assumed I had enough float in there to not worry, but now I'm thinking that is in, and of itself, a problem. Word to the wise. Proper equipment folks. Proper equipment in perfect working order on a bike that is perfectly adjusted to fit you.

So, I found this site over yonder and felt it was a good resource for the novice. That's where I nabbed that nifty .jpg. If you go and spend a cagillion dollars for one of these fitting-things around town, that's on you. I'm certainly in no position to give advice that might get me sued, but I personally find that to be a bit over the top.

I've been pretty lucky. All these injuries, including a straddle injury you don't even wanna know about, and a laundry list more, and I still find the saddle of a bicycle quite comfy. Really bugs me to be feeling it in the knees though, and I strongly urge every one to listen to their body, and what it's trying to tell you. Mine's telling me to quit being lazy and stay seated in the saddle properly. It's also telling me to quit being such an asshole so somebody will hire me, and let me afford a pair of damn cleats.

at 5:30 PM 0 comments Links to this post

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Tweet me
6.26.2009

Hey, ya'll be sure to follow me on Twitter if that's your thing. There is a link in the left sidebar.

at 12:57 PM 0 comments Links to this post

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Kerr Bikes - Good Cause or Public Menace?


Leave it to me to get all up in arms about Kerr Bikes, a new rental outfit in the old McAll's building on the west-side waterfront. The cycling community was clued into this, and the fact that they were renting conventional bicycles was put so far out in front, I am now suspicious that this was no accident.

In addition to renting conventional bicycles, which I'm skeptical about because they also rent those ridiculously dangerous tag-along things so you can slap it willy-nilly onto a rented bike, access the public right-of-way, put you and your brat in harm's way, hog up a bunch of public space, and all without so much as one letter of regulation in the ORS body... I digress, in addition to bicycles, these people are renting those stupid tourist buggies so ubiquitous in tourist areas.

I followed one of these buggies across the north side of the Hawthorne one day. You can't ride those things on a sidewalk you morons. I don't mean legally either, I mean morally, social-contract kind of stuff. What are you folks thinking? Oh right. Clog everything up, make driving a pain in the ass, open a bicycle oriented business, sit back and reap the profits from a tax-payer subsidized foray into, "Lifestyle at gunpoint.".

I'm going to go to the City and see what's up with this. Portland Parks and Recreation sure are on-board. For that matter, Tom McAll Waterfront *Park* is a perfectly fine place to tool around in a buggy, if you need that much attention of course. However, they're not a bicycle, or motorcycle, or moped, or assistance device like in the deal. As such, you can't ride one on a sidewalk, especially downtown, and you can't ride one in the street either.

Legally? Well I'll tell you, you may rest assured I'll get to the bottom of this. I'm thinking that since the area in which these people are going to profit at our expense is one gray son-of-a-bitch, legally speaking, grayness which I'm sure is shielding these opportunistic ding-a-lings, that I won't find anything substantive. It is my desire to put things into a little more of a black-and-white sort of setting, and we'll just see where those things are going to be allowed.

I'm getting tired of this attitude, "Well, there's no specific law against it, so I'll just go ahead and do it until some one makes me do different.". I'm mind-reading of course, but just how in the hell does one come unconscionably to the decision that it is okay to dump a bunch of these pedal-buggies onto the public-right-of-way?!

As if this weren't bad enough, judging from all the tell-tales, I'm going to place my bet early that these guys are doing this on our dime from within the safe confines of these damn 501 non-profits. They do have a .org domain. If I find this to be true, I might actually pop a vein and die in squalor.

Now where's the number to my flesh-eating attorney? This guy lives for this kind of entitlement.

at 12:34 PM 0 comments Links to this post

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How Dignified

Ya, here is the Nanny State hero, the Bicycle Transportation Alliance's very own White Knight. Jonathan Maus, editor of BikePortland.org. This guy routinely speaks for every cyclist in Portland, and endorses some of the most anit-cycling policy to come out of city hall since the 70s. He's one of these, "With friends like this, who needs enemies", kind of folks. He's endorsed countless out-of-town business start-ups. Relentlessly criticized local citizens who oppose the Bicycle Transportation Alliance, and his buds Roger Geller, and Scotty Bricker. All the while doing so from the smug confines of self-righteousness, and thinly vieled contempt for us locals.

So, I find it fairly gratifying to see him making an ass out of himself. Especially considering while he was yucking it up for his sycophants people like Dawn Slawta, and the unidentified man struck and killed on Hwy 43 were out walking the walk.

Here's to those of us who do it for real.

at 3:24 AM 0 comments Links to this post

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No Escaping the Nanny State

I am so tired of the Nanny State rhetoric, I just wanna puke. Look at the bullshit write up on this accident over at KATU! These idiots actually go as far as to claim the cyclist's lack of a helmet, get this, caused this crash. Never mind everybody, cyclists and motorist alike, were presumed to be drunk off their asses, no, the fact the biker had no lid caused the whole thing.

I'd be directing my anger toward an author, but of course there is no by-line for the piece. So, KATU you get the brunt of my ire because you enabled this pile of hooey.

Bicycle helmets, and the busy-body, hall-monitor dweebs that preach their use, are nothing but styrofoam dixie cups. Falls in the shower kill more people than bicycles do, or at least that's what I'm going to assert just for the effect, so you assholes don't forget to wear yours there. Just in case. You never know when something bad might happen. Especially if you're an accident prone, momma's boy, poindexter that can't change a flat-tire on a bicycle by yourself.

at 2:36 AM 0 comments Links to this post

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Hawthorne Bridge Continues To Worsen - Activism I'd Just as Soon Not See
6.25.2009


With people this rude, solutions become incredibly difficult to come up with. Being that this is County jurisdiction, the City Code prohibiting the blocking of a sidewalk likely wouldn't come into play.

Unfortunately too, because how am I supposed to deal with activism of this sort? Oh, and don't fool yourself, a polite request made while dismounted from my bicycle got goose-eggs. They didn't tell me to get lost or anything. They just ignored me and a couple of other people who also politely asked that they give way. Ya, I'm the asshole. I saw them standing there like this for the 15 minutes I had to spare. They were definitely up to something all protesty looking. Keep in mind, the guy in the yellow refused to move, and I had to walk down on the grating to get around them. That's a group of 4 people. Two peds flanking there, the guy in yellow, and the one closest to the rail. The middle figure was a gal on some kind of pedal powered contraption facing east (wrong way for a bike.), and the fourth was a guy half-mounted on an MTB that you can't see.

at 1:45 PM 1 comments Links to this post

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Hey Bartini, What's My Cut?


Bartini, ugh. Alright, so I judge a little. Barf. Bartini. Whatever freaky new-transplants do with their time is none of my beeswax. The use of public property in front of the place is though.

I love the al fresco dining arrangement. Back in my day the city hated it, and expressed this hate via outrageous permit fees. Without knowing for sure, I'd bet we're paying them now. So al fresco dining on public property doesn't bother me. Unless they make it uncomfortable, or even awkward, for a wheel-chair to get through, that is. So, no complaints from me there.

However, using public property to store your shit? Well that's a whole other ball-o-wax. I snapped this photo of Bartini doing apparently just that. In my opinion, what ever shit you strew all over a public sidewalk to make money is fine as long as you put it into your place at night. If all the shit you put on the sidewalk won't fit in your place, which looked to be the case with Bartini, then uh, no.

I did a quick count, and this business is effectively doubling their square-footage, and occupancy, by utilizing free, or inexpensive public property. To top it all off, they're getting free storage for their stuff too. Store your stuff out there Bartini, fine. What's my cut?

at 1:36 PM 0 comments Links to this post

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SW Broadway is a disaster

There I am, making my way up this disaster called a bike-lane on SW Broadway downtown. This southbound thoroughfare is exceedingly over used. With the downtown cluster fuck now fairly well implemented, traffic on SW Broadway has careened out of control, and is easily 3x what it was just 7 days ago.

Just like the Bicycle Transportation Alliance, and BikePortland.org want it to be. Grats guys! No more bikes downtown! Got pretty-shiny-Amsterdamy trains to pay for, so forcing people to ride them, or walk, will PROVE the Church of Green fanatics are always right!

Ya, so there I am stuck in this stupid bike lane, my privilege to use the public-right-of-way having been unceremoniously stripped from me, without a vote. I'm riding up this piece of shit at my usual slow pace, and hugging car-doors, to my own detriment, to be courteous to passing cyclists. You're not really supposed to pass in these lanes, or more accurately the haphazard way they were deployed violates Oregon Law in such a way that there is no legal room to pass. Can't take the lane, because that is illegal too. So, because every behavior one might use to effect a pass has been criminalized, passing isn't illegal per-say, just anything you might do to pass is illegal. Typical spin-doctor bullshit from the Netherlands worshippers pulling diminished access-wool over real bicyclist's eyes.

Needless to say, any cyclist with any experience will speak to the danger of riding too close to other cyclists. That's why it pissed me off to listen to the sound of gravel crunching 3 feet behind me for several blocks. I got to a safe-ish spot in the bike lane and reacted to some people running toward the street by slamming on my breaks. I was rewarded with a squeal, and a brush from the encroaching bicyclist and, get this, she just rode off!

This little girl didn't even apologize, didn't stop, no friendly, "I'm sorry wave", nothing. So I ride up behind her at the light and ask her, "What, you're just going to run into me, and ride off? Nothing, no apology or anything?". We all know how that went. Instead of being sorry for endangering me in such a way, all I got were complaints about nice ways to talk to people.

This is infuriating and has me thinking it's high time for bicyclists to at least have to carry a standard Oregon Driver License to access Oregon highways. Oblivious assholes like this little girl really need a wake up call before another one of 'em ends up under a cement truck. Which I couldn't care less about, but the ramifications for my own freedoms, and privileges are compromised ever time some one gets hurt by Portland's bike-friendly planning.

So eff you little girl. You smug, privileged, oblivious little fool. You're lucky it was me whose safety you were endangering, and not some one like you.

at 1:25 PM 0 comments Links to this post

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You Just Like Saying 'Bakfiet'
6.24.2009



I got the buzz-kill award the other day for banging on grandma about loads on bicycles. I've been thinking about it ever since because I stated, by way of comment on BikePortland.org, that I routinely carry loads of up to 50 pounds in my shoulder bag. The context was, in fact, that of getting groceries at the Slaveway downtown.

So, here you go. Pictographic evidence that I, in my decrepit body, replete with tobacco habit, in street clothes on a broken down bicycle, routinely carry 50 pounds of groceries in my shoulder bag, on my conventional bicycle. I really think the general sentiment of the haters this time was at once, "Oh ya right.", and, "Well you're a big, strong man, and (Insert stereotypical feminist rhetoric here.)", and well you get the point.

The dither I'm working myself up into here is that of unconventional HPVs, or human powered vehicles for the less self-involved, and the lack of regulation surrounding their use on the public-right-of-way. I feel strongly that it is important vehicles capable of moving faster than pedestrians should be carefully regulated. By way of analogy, I have an expectation while driving a car that the other people around me driving theirs have all met a minimum of safety requirements. I'm confident enough in the mixture of state and private institutions we entrust with our authority to regulate automobiles, that I feel the risk I'm undertaking is worth the benefit of saving time driving a car.

I'm going to do a little investigation of Kerr Bikes, whom I assume are responsible for these pedal-buggy abominations hogging up the public-right-of-way. Also, home-made/amateur bicycles like so-called Tall Bikes, and their close cousin the High School Shop Class cargo-bike. Anyway, these rolling antagonisms simply must go. My next post, hopefully.

That's 3 short-cases of pop, 5lb. bag of 'taters, 8 pork-chops, two pounds
of butter, and a couple other things I don't recall, pictured
above. BTW, that is.

at 5:58 PM 0 comments Links to this post

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Crash On I-405 WB On ramp from SW 6th

I just heard this crash and thought I'd run over and see what the deal was. I did not get a very good look at the crash unfortunately. From what I could see, without my glasses no less, was a crash between a silver late-model GM, and a bright red late model VW Jetta. It looked as though the Jetta were merging and the Pontiac (?) was west bound on the I-405 freeway.

Please understand I'm basically pulling this out of my rear. Again, as the video shows, I had a lousy angle. I'm already changing some of the voice in the vid.

From what I could tell, there were people responding, or perhaps yet more crash victims, and hope that some one with a phone bill that has actually been paid, called this one in. I've since heard emergency response vehicles that are certainly within the vicinity of this incident. I sincerely hope every one involved is alright.

video

at 5:39 PM 0 comments Links to this post

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Comment Crazy

I just discovered that there are known issues with embedded comment forms, and altered eBlogger templates. As luck would have it, that's me. No wonder I'm not getting any hate! I've switched the commenting format as a temporary solution, and will continue to work on this problem. I am really upset that I'm having this trouble with the eBlogger product, Google folks!

at 2:16 PM 1 comments Links to this post

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Transportation Chaos: The City that Works - To Obliterate Common Sense, That is


This has got to be one of the most asinine traffic solutions I've ever personally witnessed. The sheer stupidity of this isn't enough, as the reason behind this solution is that of accommodating Portland Street Cars.

If you don't know what a Portland Street Car is, that's a bus for rich people who like cheap Scandinavian furniture, and don't like to walk four feet in adverse climate conditions. These trolleys are proliferating downtown. They don't service the general public, but instead are intended to stop at area businesses, and are a toy for tourists. Public demand is routinely ignored in favor of placing stops at participating businesses, especially businesses that are members of the PBA Gestapo.

Alternatives, like electric buses which don't require putting down railroad tracks that are an extreme detriment to cyclists of all skill and experience levels, were ignored on the basis that they didn't look kool enough for the people in charge of the way we get around Portland. Not bad enough that train tracks necessitated by this retarded shit are going to maim, and kill cyclists. Now we get to deal with bike-lane routing, bike-lanes that are in and of themselves a complete waste of time, and money, that singles out Portland bicyclists; and subsequently bans them from the public right-of-way.

The markings in the video, and photo, are not vetted, or approved by the MUTCD. They just got slapped down willy-nilly by so-called men who call themselves engineers, but can't master an oil change on their family car. Now, in typical fashion as of late, make that since Roger Geller has been running fiascoes like this, this little scenario breaks a number of Oregon Revised Statutes, and City Codes. As if it isn't bad enough that there is a downtown ban against bicycles riding on the sidewalks, and lack thereof on the other side of the river, now we get this bullshit.

What is the desired treatment here you morons? Are we supposed to dismount our bicycles, and walk around this bullshit? That's what the law says. If so, what's with the unapproved markings that clearly show this is a bike lane? If this is a bike lane, pedestrians who walk on this sidewalk are in a lane of traffic, and therefore in violation of our J-walking laws. Which is it? Is this a fucking sidewalk, or a road? This thing is going to kill somebody, mark my words. More blood on the hands of these Netherlands worshiping newcomers screwing up our streets for nothing more than media attention, and bragging rights. Outrageous.

I walked this with my mobile-phone camera, and took a little video to give you an idea what this is like for users.

 video

at 11:48 AM 2 comments Links to this post

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